2021.12.09 07:37 DisbelWaetl TIFU by giving money to a distressed woman on the street
First, I need to make it clear that I am not a mentally stable person, and I've been trying my best. I have been struggling with depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts since I was a kid, not helped by how my country refuses to consider these three things as real or serious, and only recently after going for overboard studies in a more relaxed country did I get even the slightest bit better.
I've been studying in this country for two years now, and I've always been really conscious about how I look and stuff. Now I'm in a western country with the facial structure of a Chinese Southeast Asian but with larger than normal eyes, which only makes my anxiety worse, so I usually default to a hostile, aggressive physical state that really fucks up my ankles when walking and ruins my posture, since I'm always leaning forwards as I walk. But the more I stay here and meditate, study and stuff, I've been getting better.
Today, I was finishing up a visit with my parents that had visited me for the holidays. The Covid epidemic had been fucking up all our plans for the past two years and my parents and I very close, so it was wonderful that I could actually talk and hug with them in person, even though they had to stay in a 3 day quarantine in the beginning. I ate home cooked food for the first time in a while and talked to my sister, father and stuff. It was great.
As I went back home to my hostel, it was around the evening. I was tired, I was carrying a whole bunch of goods that my parents had given to me, and I needed to get my laundry out of the dryer in the hostel before some glubbo tossed it onto the floor to put his ones in. I was standing at the traffic crossing, an old lady jaywalked up to me from across the empty street and asked for a bit of my time. I have a habit of always waiting at the traffic crossing for the light to turn green, even when the street was empty, and usually people wouldn't even look in my direction, so having her talk to me out of the blue threw me for a loop. I missed the light literally afterwards, which made my anxiety flare up.
She said that her daughter had died a month ago and that she needed $120 for flowers. She showed a flyer and the funeral company, with a picture of her 'daughter' and all that. She asked if I could give any amount possible. I was a random guy walking in the middle of a street, tired after walking up and down the street with my family for the entire day, in the evening.
Where I'm from, we don't believe in charity. If some guy walked up to you and asked for money, we were used to saying no and getting the guy mad, where we would either fight him, run or hold him down long enough to get the passerby to call the police.
But I'm more of the running type, but with so much on my plate with the dryer clothes, my tiredness and the goods and all that, and I sympathise very heavily with funeral arrangements because of my own experiences, I made the fucked up decision, in my moment of complete tired panic, to give her a $100 bill. I was screaming inside my own head that she was scamming me, that I was a fucking sucker of an idiot, but I genuinely couldn't give a shit. I was just too tired, and I was frazzed out as fuck anways.
She was ecstatic, thanking me and giving me a hug, which is a GIGANTIC cultural disconnection for my family since hugs were very rare generally. She has a young lady with her, who was following her from behind and had walked past us when she was asking for money, so when I looked backwards and saw them talking to each other, I got really fucking paranoid. I told her as she was walking away that I was sorry for her loss, and she immediately turned around and started pouring out how frustrated she was, told me that her full bill for the funeral was $6.8k, and we had a short talk about how unfair we had to pay in order to die, which I completely agreed with.
I pressed the crossing button again and mentally beat myself up as I waited. Once it turned green I ran straight home. I checked my pockets and bags if she had pickpocketed me, and everything was as it should be. Nothing was missing.
My day was fucking ruined.
I called my mother and asked if I did the right thing. My family said yes, if she needed it you did a great thing, if she didn't then at least you can be happy that you helped a fellow human being, blah blah blah. I spent about an hour agonising if I did the right thing. I started speaking to my bedside plushes that usually got be calm, and I came to the conclusion;
I chose the worst possible decision.
If she was genuine, I gave her $100 instead of $120. I definitely had enough for $120 but I was too afraid of her being a scam to do so, which means I didn't earn her gratefulness, I was still selfish.
If she was a scammer, I just lost 100 fucking bucks as an international student, who clearly needs it more than some lazy fucking criminal, after my meeting my parents. I was pretty much proving that I was a vulnerable little piece of shit that didn't learn anything from my childhood in that godforsakened moral wasteland that I called my home, so no wonder why I was ostracised for being a gullible little bitch and needed to flee to a western country.
But it still stressed me the fuck out so bad I forgot to get my laundry out of the dryer, and while I was taking the stuff out I was still beating myself up. I went on discord and tried to find my friends to talk to them about it, but they were all offline so I was really fucking paranoid and frustrated.
So here I am venting, typing a long as fuck reddit post about something that wouldn't trouble me so much if I was just a bigger piece of shit to scream at her a 'no', or if I was just a dumber and nicer guy to give her the full $120, or if I didn't have this fucking issue with my head that's making me over think in the first place.
tl;dr: I gave $100 to a distressed lady who approached me on the street, who needed $120 more to cover funeral expenses for her daughter. My anxiety and depression is making me overthink if I made the right choice, but because I didn't commit to either full charity or full asshole, I've pretty much ruined my night.
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2021.12.09 07:37 Repulsive-Channel120 Gear WPN
2021.12.09 07:37 NDRRSS NTF game: Foxes vs Chickens chasing eggs
2021.12.09 07:37 BadlyPk My EU Discmania mystery box. Alright, I guess.
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2021.12.09 07:37 Inevitable-Bad-6431 rick sanchez vs doofenschmirtz who wins?
2021.12.09 07:37 sleepereternal An oldie, but good to remember:
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2021.12.09 07:37 WotN_Daemon Why did i think this was hun showdown merch...
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2021.12.09 07:37 LOC-STAR1 WIN a Tesla and $50,000 in other prizes
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2021.12.09 07:37 HugeFuckinAnimeTits Chris Chan recently responded to another fan letter
November 20, 2021 Hey Adam, I am in quite good health, mentality, and spirituality, and feeling good. I appreciate your offer, but I am managing my finances well. And I appreciate your offer for donations to my account. But, be sure to send donations to Barbara at the Sonichu Temple as well. I will accept your phone # and surprise you with a call soon enough. I am in a cell "by myself", but I am not alone, for I have Magi-Chan, Cryzel, Sylvana, Mewtwo, and everyone else within my reach (with my hubbychu chillin' with I and our highest Rank Gardevoir in this cell at the moment), and I work Out of Body in my continued hard work, duties, and efforts with Everyone of our Allies and Friends, during these events and Everything. As if the Northern Lights within Your View, and the Solar Flares in high numbers are not Obvious Clues towards the Happenings with Chaotic Rainbows, and Judgment Day upon the Toxic Minority left behind. Anyway, I am disbarred from interacting with the other inmates, and am allies with some of the Ladies and Gentleman of the police staff in this Male and birthing person occupied facility. You are Litteraly Living the Sonichu Comics I have written an drawn already on our recombined Earth, and I shall write and draw more after completing the tough Diving Task, with the Collective Shift, my Second Coming, and all. NES: Kabuki Quantam Fighter, SNES: Super Mario World, N64: Pokemon Stadium 1 & 2, Gabecube: Sonic Adventure 1 DX and 2 Battle. Thank you for your kindness, Adam. Go forth with Peace, Clarity, and Blessings by my Power, Glory, and Authority as God. Be Safe and Well, Mrs. Jesus Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu, the Goddess Blue Heart, and Lord, Messiah, Savior, and God of all.https://twitter.com/maniacwesker1/status/1466906299287969805?s=21
2021.12.09 07:37 Ataliha GRX levers too big?
Hello, guys! I'm planning to buy a gravel bike with grx 800 hydraulic levers. Are there any small hands cyclists here that can give an opinion about these levers? ( my hands are 17.5 cm in length and 8.5 wide for referance) Will they feel too big?
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2021.12.09 07:37 Bruh_help_sos Just get a frying pan..
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2021.12.09 07:37 DivineandDeadlyAngel ....
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2021.12.09 07:37 ZoolShop Downing Street party: Investigation could be widened, says Sajid Javid
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2021.12.09 07:37 iKilledThePatient [XBOX] [DS3] [SUMMON ME]
2021.12.09 07:37 Gianlu8509 LUCID 🔋
If you read well the press release of LUCID yesterday speaks of development, manufacturing and distribution as well as electric vehicles certainly at the base the key piece compared to other similar manufacturers is to have written also energy storage systems ... that in my opinion will lead to the success and the turning point of the company..LUCID are with you👍
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2021.12.09 07:37 thowaway67679449 I (31) read my wife's (25) messages today. I made a mistake.
My wife was in the restroom showering. She left her phone on the couch and it did that whoosh noise when a text comes in but messages app is open. I took a glance and saw she was talking to a friend about her work peer. I'm ok with that as she vents to me about him and we all need to vent to someone other than partner but then noticed my wife was writing about how she doesn’t know why she starving for her peers love and attention. How jealous she got when he was flirting with other women in the workplace . How earlier that day I told her I felt her peer staring at me when I went to pick her up from work. Her friend asked “does he (me) know the tea?” And “wouldn’t it be nice to have 2men fighting for you?” Her answer was “no he doesn’t” and “you already know who’d win 💖💗♥️❤️💕🤐” She’s mentioned her peer to me before but was always venting about him or was always wondering why he doesn’t talk to her. When I told her about the staring that day she had a lot of questions as to why, what did I feel, was it a good or bad stare. I have to admit our relationship is a little rocky at the moment and we were working on it but now idk what to feel. We’ve both been cheated on in past relationships and we promised if we would ever want someone else we wouldn’t cheat and just divorce before cheating as to not open those wounds again.
I want to get over it because it may be just a harmless crush but my stomach feels like it’s hit the ground. I want to throw up. What would you do? Am I reading too much into this? I’m sorry if this makes no sense. My thoughts are all over the place.
TL;DR - read wife’s text between her and friend. She wants her work peers love and attention. There’s some tea I don’t know about. Wants two men fighting for her. What do I do?
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2021.12.09 07:37 bufleica Petite Bratx
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2021.12.09 07:37 OxygenInhalingHuman Need help troubleshooting Lenovo thinkcentre
Hello, I recently had my old PC shipped to me from another country, I hadn’t used it for 3 years prior, and when I tried turning it on it beeped 3 quick/1 long times on repeat. I consulted on the Lenovo website what this could mean, and it said it is to do with memory not being detected. Over the years a lot of dust had accumulated which I just cleaned out, but it still isn’t displaying anything and is beeping. I also tried reinstalling the ram but the issue still persists. Also, I should mention that the pc seems to turn on by itself as soon as it is connected to a power source. Any help would be appreciated.
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2021.12.09 07:37 carrotverse How normal is it to smell while bottoming
I just hooked up with a guy spontaneously and he kept asking if I wanted to bottom so I did. There was no visible poop at all but after a minute or two it started to smell and he got kinda soft so we just jerked it other off. I’m really embarrassed because it was in my car and we could both obviously smell it and I just feel really bad because I really like this guy and he went soft after.
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2021.12.09 07:37 FxBangl "AQUAMAN AND THE LOST KINGDOM" Wrapped Production
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2021.12.09 07:37 callistagani got cocoa cookie on my 9th draw! :)
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2021.12.09 07:37 DharsanRoX_Gaming ah yes, the 👍
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2021.12.09 07:37 Wonderful_Carrot_570 What other types of attractions are there?
So I like this other person and I'm aromantic and I DEFINITELY don't want to be in a romantic relationship with them but I know this is not platonic. Can you help me identify what I might be feeling? What other types of attractions are there?
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2021.12.09 07:37 Margo_pumusy Hi & Happy Thursday, everyone 😉💋 [40f]
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2021.12.09 07:37 slferar24 [WTS] Unimatic x Hodinkee U1-H Limited Edition